I laughed so hard I cried.

Last night my brother slept over at the neighbor's house, and for some reason called my sister to come pick him up in the car this morning. Which, to the three of us girls, seemed pretty pointless since he could walk home in about 5 seconds. So... we came up with a plan. Jenny gave in and told him she'd pick him up. Then all three of us piled in the car barefoot and headed over to the neighbor's. When my brother came out with his unrolled sleeping bag draped over his shoulders, and carrying a bunch of random stuff, Jenny switched the car into reverse and we backed out of there as soon as he got close to the car.
There was a car coming toward us down the road, but we kept on going. My brother ended up running down the dirt road after our car, carrying all of his stuff and dropping half of it on the road, and all the while there was still a car behind us just watching. Needless to say, the three of us laughed so hard that we cried. He was pretty upset by the fact that we actually pulled one over on him, and actually tried to hurt all of us. (He's a little stronger than he used to be...)
It was a great time, though. What would I do without them?
Jenny just told Dani that her self-portrait was creepy. See what goes on at this house???

Today.

I'm kind of exhausted today. I stayed out pretty late with some friends last night which was probably a mistake especially after giving blood because that wears me out anyway, but I didn't have anything else to do so it was all good.

When I woke up this morning and walked out of my bedroom, I realized that absolutely no one else was home, and they wouldn't be until later. It was sort of depressing to discover that I was all alone all day, especially when I figured out that I didn't have a car home either. So I cleaned for a good while, watched some TV of course, facebooked a few times, played some guitar.... and probably talked to the dog a good deal since she followed me around all day.

Finally my mom came home from work and Matt and Dani got home from school, but they were all just worn out and busy with other things, so I gave up on caring about the cold weather outside, put on some warmer pants and a jacket, and headed out to the barn to visit my kittens. They're not so nice, since they first saw people only a few days ago after coming home from their original birthplace underneath the neighbor's house. I fed them and let them eat for a few minutes, then decided that the barn was a complete mess so I took a broom to it. I was sweeping the floor and sweeping cobwebs off the walls and out of K-Rue's old stall when I realized it's been 2 whole months since the horses have been gone. How have I made it 2 months without my pony? I'm not sure. But I cried because all I wanted was for him to be standing there in the aisle where I always groomed him.

So, right now I'm hoping and praying that our family vacation this summer will take us through Tennessee for a couple days, because I could really use that. I still can't believe the horses are actually gone, and though I know there's no better place for them to be, even right now I don't think I'll ever get over missing them.



Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete. James 1:2-4

dayyyyyy trip! sort of...

Today was at least somewhat interesting. One of the first things I did this morning was work out- and I watched what I'm pretty sure was the season finale of The Office. Definitely a good way to get me through a workout, because I just get bored when I'm riding that bike in the basement. I think Jenny heard me laughing from upstairs because when I came up she asked me if it was funny. Duh, it's the office. =)

Then this afternoon Jenny and I drove over to Grand Rapids to my dad's office. The restaurant that his company owns, which is across the street, was hosting a blood drive, so of course I signed up. It was on a bus, which freaked me out at first because I get a little sqeamish about giving blood because I almost passed out once. But I got over that fact pretty quickly, especially when the nurse told me I had to calm down because my pulse rate was too high. Ooops.
It was the best blood-giving experience I've had so far though. Maybe I'm getting a little more used to it, or maybe it's because the beds were upright so you were really sitting, not laying down. I feel like that probably makes passing out less likely.

Jenny left from GR to go to camp for the night, but before she left she got this Chicken Caesar sandwich at Panera. I'm going back there just for one of those. It was amazing.

I just rode home with my dad and we stopped at the flooring store on the way to look for flooring for his new office building. He asked my opinion a few times and I couldn't help him. I can't do that type of thing. I feel like someone's going to have to help me big time with my house someday...




Wait, I'm wrong
Should have done better than this
Please, I'll be strong
I'm finding it hard to resist
So show me what I'm looking for

Sunshine???

I've been out of school now for almost a week. I have to say, it's been super nice to have pretty much nothing to do. I even read a whole book between Sunday afternoon and last night-- it was called The Last Sin Eater by Francine Rivers. It was about a tradition that used to be held in Europe and was carried over by the settlers who lived in the Appalachian mountains. The "sin eater" was an outcast of society whose job was, when someone died, to come and eat a meal placed out by the people, in effort to "eat" their sins and allow them to go on to heaven peacefully. The book basically just debunks this tradition when two kids find out about the gospel and realize that they don't need the sin eater to take away their sins-- they just need Jesus. It's a good story.

Yesterday was Memorial Day, so we went to the parade at my grandparent's house, which is always interesting, and always the same. I feel like there's always more and more people there who I don't know. We went to my other grandparent's house later, and even though it was really windy, a few kids went down to the lake and it turned out being super nice down there because the dunes were blocking the east wind. Matt had his skimboard out, and a bunch of us walked down to the channel.

I've finally unpacked most of my stuff from college. My room's been a crazy mess for a week and it's been driving me up the wall. I can't stand having a big mess. =)

I want to go to GR tomorrow and donate blood (sorry that sounds weird) and I really want to go to Tennessee.

1st day

I moved back home from college today.
Next year I need to have my parents or someone help me, because it was difficult alone.

I realized, though, that right now I have zero responsibilities-- no job for a couple more weeks, no horses, no schoolwork, no nothing. This hasn't happened to me since probably the summer before 8th grade.

Leaving college today was extremely sad. I really won't see everyone for about 3 months, which is just strange. My friend said she sobbed on the way home, while she was texting me and listening to the cd of sad songs that she made.

It feels like college really is my life now, so it's going to be another big adjustment to be home all summer, especially because I can't necessarily do whatever I want whenever I want to. I'll be anxious to get back in the fall I'm sure.

It was a long day, though. I only slept for about 3 or 4 hours last night because I went to the movies until midnight then came back to the dorm and studied more. I had my psyhcology exam this morning, then I cleaned my dorm room and bathroom and packed up all of my stuff nonstop from about 10:00 until 3:00. It was about 86 degrees outside, there was nowhere to park, and it was exhausting.

But I'm home now, sitting here with Izzy of course, and we're opening up the pool tonight. =)

Early morning in the good ol' library

7:30 seems way too early for a college student to be up. I have to say though, it’s much better than yesterday’s 6:30 am, just to get ready for church at 8:10.
My friend Annie decided we needed to come to the library to study this morning, and I’m glad she suggested it, because otherwise I probably would have slept until 10. But instead, I’m here “studying” for my philosophy final tomorrow. (this shows how focused I really am)
I’m really excited about this summer and I’m totally pumped that school is just about done for the year, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve just gotten used to the whole college thing, and I’m just starting to like it a lot more than I did at the beginning of the year. I had no idea it would take me so long to get used to it all, but it has. And now, I don’t really want to move home on Wednesday.
I shouldn’t be doing this right now, and I’ve been in the library for almost 3 hours already. But I’ll come up with something a little more interesting to write about later.

Study break

I'm in the middle of coming up with answers to the potential essay questions for my history exam on Saturday morning. Blah. Saturday morning? Since when is Saturday even a valid exam day?
I went home with my dad last night because I wanted to bring some things home and I didn't really have much to do here at school besides study. The first thing I did when I got home was clean out my closet, which by the way contained two whole garbage bags full of trash. Lame. And I'm still so confused about where to put everything when I bring it all home this weekend and next week.

There was a great storm last night, though, which started just about as I was going to bed. So of course Izzy was all upset about it and she basically was just wandering around upstairs and keeping me awake. Eventually I got her to cuddle with me on my bed so I calmed her down and we both fell asleep. I'm glad I had her because I was missing K-Rue pretty bad. I think I said it before, but it's so much worse to be at home, because he's just not there. I think I'm animal dependent. I'm gonna be an old cat lady.

Today after my orthodontist appointment I was randomly chatting with my friend Paige on facebook, and it turned out that she was at the library by her house, so Jenny (who was now home as well) and I headed over there to attempt to study while hanging out with Paige. I never thought hanging out in a library was even legit until this semester, but it is. It's hard to study when your friends are there, because everything just ends up being hilarious for some reason.

Well, I think that's it for now. I should get back to this essay-writing. I'd so much rather be packing up my room so I can bring everything home, but I do only have a few more days here and I know that if I don't put enough effort into these exams, I'll regret it. I want to do well!

Facebook is going SOOO slow

I have only 9 DAYS until I'm done with my freshman year of college. I can't believe it. When I think back to the beginning of the year, and some of the random things I've done this year, some seem so recent but others seem like forever ago. I've learned so much this year, not just school-wise, but about life in general and people in general, and I've also learned a LOT about myself.

I think I'm just finally getting somewhat used to the whole college thing, now that the year is coming to a close, but oh well. I'm really looking forward to spending the summer around home too-- especially hanging by the pool!!!!!!

Today Jenny and I attempted to make it to Dani's tennis meet at Forest Hills Central, but we got there just after she finished so we only stayed for about 5 minutes. It was a dissapointment, but still worth it just to visit with her for a sec. The best part was when some girl just randomly goes, "I wish I could look as tan as Dani!" I like cracked up. It was also really nice to turn the corner onto E. Paris on the way there and see a pasture full of Arabians, who happily decided to graze right up by the road. Made my day =) As much as Arabian horses can be a handful, they're just so amazing. I want one again. haha

The Bible study that I'm in on the floor ended tonight. I'm so glad I did it, because it really was enjoyable over all, even though half the time we were too busy to do it. It's nice just to have a group of girls to get to know on that level, and talk about stuff together without pressure. I think it'd be really fun to lead one next year since I'll be a sophomore, and I can take care of the freshman...... Yeah, I'll do that.

Speaking of taking care of.... I was thinking about a family I babysitt for awhile ago and I realized that they had another baby like a month ago. I still haven't seen it, and I don't even KNOW IF IT'S A BOY OR A GIRL!!!! It's killing me to not know all of the sudden. Random, but it's bothering me.

Oh boy. I've gotta start packing up some of my stuff. Maybe I'll head home with my father on Wednesday and bring some with me. Yes, I think I will. I can't WAIT to get out of this dorm room and be done being a freshman, even though technically I've been a sophomore all semester. But that doesn't really count. And after next year I'll be in the nursing program, which I think will be really different than normal "school." Can't wait!!!!


The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation. Psalm 118:14

Psychology 151

There's something we do called self-serving bias-- where we make up excuses for why we can't do something, or why we failed.
People don't like failure. I don't. But do we ever put in 100% of the effort we should? I think a lot of times I don't put in 100% effort because I'm afraid of failing and knowing that I did the best I could but still wasn't good enough.
It's a way to protect ourselves to just not put ourselves fully into something, because we avoid the pain of failing to be good enough even with our best effort.

Something to think about.